New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
