Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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