Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
