U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
