ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
