they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
