Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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