I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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