belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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