It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
