i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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