it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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