Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
