If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
even my farts smell like vagina
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
