OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
