I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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