brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize