It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
