It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
