I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
