$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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