Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
