Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
