Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
