Farmville is her only friend.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
