i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
