isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
