yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
