I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
