haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
