Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
