I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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