Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
