Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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