Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
