tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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