Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
