Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
