There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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