You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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