i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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