Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My ATM looks so different sober.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
