so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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