everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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