i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
