Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
