My hand turned me down
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
