Whod you bang
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
