Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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