woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
