Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
